this is funny .

[Ballhawk]

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/buzz-log-darth-vaders-diagnosis.html

[Ballhawk]

vador with mental issues . 

[Rick]

I thought this email I got today was pretty funny:

A young Chinese couple get married. She's avirgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that.  On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.   He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.  "My darring," he whispers, "I know dis you firsstime, and you berry flighten. I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting, juss anyting you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want?"  A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly for her request).  Eventually, she shyly whispers back, "I want to try someting I have heard about from other girls..... Nummaa 69."  More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her.....  "You want... Garlic Chicken with corrifrowa?"

LMAO!!!!

[Rick]

 

 
I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I
saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth.  Frogs are good bass bait.
Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed
him right behind the head,  took the frog,  and put it in my bait bucket.
Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.  So,  I
grabbed my bottle of single malt Scotch & poured a little whiskey in its mouth.
His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without
incident and carried on fishing using the frog.
A little later, I felt a nudge on my leg. I looked down, there was that same snake with two
frogs in his mouth.

[Ballhawk]

 
I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I
saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth.  Frogs are good bass bait.
Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed
him right behind the head,  took the frog,  and put it in my bait bucket.
Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.  So,  I
grabbed my bottle of single malt Scotch & poured a little whiskey in its mouth.
His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without
incident and carried on fishing using the frog.
A little later, I felt a nudge on my leg. I looked down, there was that same snake with two
frogs in his mouth.

thats funny

[Poe]

 
I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I
saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth.  Frogs are good bass bait.
Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed
him right behind the head,  took the frog,  and put it in my bait bucket.
Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.  So,  I
grabbed my bottle of single malt Scotch & poured a little whiskey in its mouth.
His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without
incident and carried on fishing using the frog.
A little later, I felt a nudge on my leg. I looked down, there was that same snake with two
frogs in his mouth.

Thank you, Rick.  That's one I'll be retelling for years. 

[RIVERS]

 
I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I
saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth.  Frogs are good bass bait.
Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed
him right behind the head,  took the frog,  and put it in my bait bucket.
Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.  So,  I
grabbed my bottle of single malt Scotch & poured a little whiskey in its mouth.
His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without
incident and carried on fishing using the frog.
A little later, I felt a nudge on my leg. I looked down, there was that same snake with two
frogs in his mouth.

I don't get-it...why waste good liquor on a snake??  

[Rick]

I don't get-it...why waste good liquor on a snake??  

The frogs were the highest quality.

[RIVERS]

The frogs were the highest quality.

They taste like chicken..*BURP* (honestly) and it's kinda gross when it comes to eatin' legs.

[catman]

Rick, if its OK with you, I'll share that story other places.  It is one of the best I've heard recently.

[Rick]

Rick, if its OK with you, I'll share that story other places.  It is one of the best I've heard recently.

Sure catman.  I wasn't the author.  I get all kinds of stuff daily in emails.  I always share the best ones with others.

[AmpleSound]

A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.
The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?'
'I'm out of gas,' the man replied.
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

'Try it now,' said one bee.

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. 'Wow!' the man exclaimed, 'what did you put in my gas tank'?

The bee answered,

 |
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\/

Wait for it. wait for it.




You're just gonna love this.





BP

[Ballhawk]

A wife tells her husband , I am going to make your wish come true tonight ... the husband then replied , non sense . Moving vans don't run this late at night ...

[Rick]

Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly
 
 
   
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two bestfriends, Cooter and Gomer.
 
 
   
The three men had always done everything together.
 
 
    Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet,
 
 
    Cooter said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'
 
 
    The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, 'Nope, ain't Bubba..'
 
 
   
The mortician thought this was rather strange.
 
 
    So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body.
 
 
    Gomer looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up
 
 
    Roll him over.'
 
 
    The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, 'No, it ain't Bubba..'
 
 
   
The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'
 
 
    Gomer said, 'Well, Bubba had two assholes...'
 
 
    'What?He had two assholes?' asked the mortician.
 
 
    'Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say:
 
 
   
'There's Bubba with them two assholes